When I was in 7th grade, I went to a school dance at the catholic school I attended. It was the last dance of the night and this boy in 8th grade asked me to dance. As we slow danced, he leaned in and kissed me. After the kiss, I felt butterflies and started to feel like I liked him. You know when you young, you gassed over everything ha-ha. After the kiss, he tells me he likes me but he could never show it because his friends and family would judge him because I was black and he was white. I remember feeling confused. I asked myself, why did he even kiss me then? Maybe he just kissed me during the slow dance because the lights were dim and no one would see.
Just to show an alternative perspective I will share another story. In 8th grade, this boy named Mike and I would hold hands during recess. Typical young innocent behavior. The other white boys would make fun of him for it but he never cared. That was my dawg when I look back on it. He was brave enough to be himself and like what he liked even at a young age!
Fast-forward to a few weeks ago, an Italian guy I also use to go to school with tries to slide in my Instagram DMs. He created a fake page with no profile pic and no posts. Sketchy as hell! I found out he is engaged to be married (because women are private detectives so we always get the scoop) but that is not even the part that disturbed me because boys will be boys. What troubled me was the fact that his white family and friends (and fiancé) probably have no idea that he is making advances towards a black girl. Even when we were in school together, we would chat on aim messenger after school (AOL aim was poppin) and he would be very flirtatious. When he would see me in school, that same interest wasn’t shown. Crazy how I can remember something that long ago but I do. I’m sure he didn’t remember that as he was sliding in my DM.
Him secretively sliding in my DMs triggered me to think of all the other times in my life that a white man has made a sexual advance at me. I noticed an underlining theme. Most of the time, the advance was made in a secretive way. What is it about black girls that is so bad that a white man has to hide his interest in her? Is it because his family and friends will judge him? On the other hand, maybe he does not even really like black girls but just wants to fulfill a fantasy/fetish.
From my personal experience, white men feel the most comfortable to flirt and make sexual advances towards me when they are drunk. In high school, during college, and even after, white men seem to only approach me when they have had one too many. That liquor must give them that extra courage. I always wondered if it was only because they were drunk or did they really like me? I mean, they say “a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts,” but I don’t think I ever believed that saying. People can definitely still tell lies when they are intoxicated.
I am a proud black woman and it offends me to think that a man of another race would only want to make advances at me secretly or when he is intoxicated. Are black girls not good enough for people to know you like us? This may be an extreme comparison (but hey, I am an extreme person lol) but it reminds me of slavery when the Master would fornicate with his female slaves but give off the impression he did not like her around his white peers and white wife. I do not ever want to feel that I am someone’s shameful secret or quirky fetish. If you like black women but your friends or family are racist, maybe you should not associate yourself with such ignorant people. Maybe you should be brave enough like that boy Mike from my 8th grade class, and do what you want no matter what people may think. Do not insult this #BLACKGIRLMAGIC by trying to make any black girl your “little secret” or adventurous escapade on a drunk night. Being with a black girl is a privilege and an honor. You can learn a thing or two from us.
Nevertheless, if you just want to fulfill a fetish I suggest you look up some Ebony porn or go to an urban strip club and pay for a trick! Us black women are strictly reserved for men who will show us off proudly.
*P.S. I responded to him sliding in my DM’s with a link to his engagement website and told him I don’t think his fiancé would like him in my DMs and blocked that ass!